Top 5 jokes...

enjoy....

1) DON'T LIE TO KIDS

There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he covers his private parts with a newspaper.

The little girl says, "What's under there?"

So the man answers, "A bird."

The girl goes away and the man falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he is in a hospital and in great pain.

A doctor comes up to his bed and asks, "What happened?"

The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach and I fell asleep after talking to a little girl."

So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.

When they get there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.

So they ask her if she did anything to the man.

She answers,

" I didn't do anything to the man, but while he was sleeping, I played with his bird. After a while, it spit at me, so I broke its neck, burned its nest, and smashed all its eggs."

**gosh, that girl needs anger management class, A.S.A.P., before she 'murders' again...**

_________________________________________________________________


2)This is SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!






Spartalisa...



Simon : huh?



Oww....what's in there?


hahahahahahaha

_______________________________________________________

3) Miss Universe Q&A Session

Question: Ms America,how do you describe a male organ in your
country?

Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like
gentlemen.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......

(Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight
or
Toro(Bull)

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.

(Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?

Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are
like gossip or rumors.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.

(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?

Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms I ran: Because they like to enter through the back door.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like
laborers.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms India: Because it works day and night......

(Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!
Applause!)



Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in China are like Deng Siu
Ping.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until 90.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!Applause!)



Question: Ms Singapore, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?

Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ In Singapore is very
Kiasu (Afraid to lose).

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes
before the show is over.

(Applause! Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!
Applause!)




Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?

Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like
Proton car.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!Applause!)

**I am so insulted!!!....good laugh though...**

___________________________________________________________________


4)REVENGE!!!

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO, I WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN $200?"

**=_="**


___________________________________________________________


5)Backseat Cook

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."


____________________________________________________


Extracted from http://forum.lowyat.net/JokesHeaven

This two months to come, i have very limited internet access...so, i can't blog frequently...

My SISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA is back for her semester break...
she'll be using the PC most of the time....

tata...and take care!